Ego Is The Enemy
I was recently reading a book about Buddhism, and two quotations struck me. Buddha said, "ego never accepts the truth," and "ego is just a small three letter word, which can destroy a big twelve letter word called relationship." In my book, Progress Sabotaged, I argue that ego is the enemy of progress. It blinds us to truth and poisons collaboration. I was surprised that my book echoed at least some of Buddha's thoughts on the role of ego. Of course, Buddhism is much more complex than these two quotations. However, perhaps his insights can help us understand ego.
Most people immediately recognize the image of Buddha. The majority of statues show a man sitting cross-legged, with his eyes shut and meditating. They point to a defining feature of Buddhism. Buddha used meditation to look inward, to observe the self, and more. His insights formed the foundation of a religion that now has about 500 million followers. Not bad, considering Buddha went out of his way to say he was not unique, divine, or that God had given him knowledge. At its heart Buddhism is practical; there is no act of faith required. You can learn to meditate and experience for yourself what Buddha described. Buddha's teaching and example simply points the way, and at each step, you can compare your experiences and insights with Buddha's and decide for yourself.
Buddhism started with the historical figure Siddhārtha Gautama (circa 450 BCE). Gautama was born in Lumbini on the northern edge of the Ganges River basin in what is now southern Nepal. His father was a rich and influential member of the Śākya clan. During his childhood, Gautama lived a sheltered life in his father's palace. He knew next to nothing about suffering. As he grew up, he started to learn what life was like for people outside his home. It was a big shock. Everywhere he looked, he saw people suffering. For the first time in his life, he appreciated how sheltered his life was.
Gautama could not bear the difference between his privileged life and the suffering he found outside the palace. It was not fair. So he renounced his royal life and resolved to do something about it. However, having good intentions was not enough. Gautama had to learn what caused suffering before he could find a solution. So he left his wife and young son and set off on a quest to discover all he could from the many religious teachers and wise men in the Ganges River region. This step was a big commitment. Gautama spent the next six years on his quest, learning all he could from each teacher before moving to the next. As the years went by, Gautama realized that the wise men did not have the answers he wanted. However, he did not give up. Instead, Gautama considered all he had learned. Finally, all of his work paid off. One day, while meditating under the shade of a tree, he experienced enlightenment. Gautama finally understood human suffering, its origin, and its solution. At this point, he became known as Buddha, "the awakened one."
The question is, what had Buddha discovered? According to Buddhist tradition, when a man asked Buddha to sum up his teaching in one word, he said "awareness." However, we do not have Buddha's own words. For the first few hundred years, people passed on his teaching by word of mouth and multiple aural traditions developed. Despite divergence, they share the same central message. Buddha saw that our brains create the suffering we experience. Today, we think this is obvious. However, we have the benefit of modern medical knowledge. If someone stands on your toe, you feel pain and perhaps cry out. However, it is not your toe that felt the pain. We know that nerves in the foot send information to the brain, such as temperature and pressure on the skin. It is the brain that creates the experience of pain. If the information does not get to the brain, we do not feel anything. A local anesthetic uses this mechanism; it temporarily blocks nerve cells from signaling the brain.
Buddha used meditation to observed his thoughts, feelings, recollections, and sensations. Anyone can do the same. At first, most people have a sense of 'self' doing the observing. It is like there is a small you inside your head looking out. This internal homunculus is the you that is aware, experiences sensations, and suffers. As you do more meditation, the feeling of self recedes. What you experience is not like watching a film, with one thing leading into the next and forming a consistent story. Instead, it is more like an unedited film. All the parts are there, but they are jumbled up.
Buddha went further. He started to question the very existence of the self. He came to believe that the 'I' we think of and identify with is an illusion and that this illusion is the cause of suffering. To help people understand his insight, Buddha used the simile of two arrows. You cannot avoid being struck by the first arrow. In life, bad things happen, and they cause pain. What happens next is the second arrow. It is your ego reacting to the first arrow. You might be eating in a restaurant, and someone walking past knocks your arm, spilling your drink. The knock did not cause any real pain, and the spilled drink is just annoying. However, as the spill happened, your ego calculates what this event means to you. Did the other person knock you on purpose? Did they want to provoke you? It might all be an accident, but the perpetrator does not apologize and walks away. Now your ego is seething with resentment and outrage. The world is full of clumsy, rude people who cannot even be bothered to say sorry. The ego spins out of control, one perceived slight feeding the flames of the next. It is this process that generates suffering. Buddha recognized that the second arrow was optional. You can use meditation to become aware of the ego's reaction. Once you are aware of it, you can see it for what it is. Your ego might be correct. But it is more likely to have overreacted, in which case you can let it pass.
To achieve happiness, Buddha said, "First remove 'I'; that's ego. Then remove 'want'; that's desire. And all you are left with is happiness." Buddhist teaching talks about reaching a state of non-self, where the ego has dissolved. It is easy to over-emphasize this teaching and conclude that the ego is the enemy and must be eliminated. However, Buddha talked about the "Middle Way." The ego has a positive and negative role to play. If you are too selfless, people will take advantage and walk all over you. However, it is easy to become self-centered, selfish, and narcissistic. Buddha's middle way is finding the correct point between too little and too much ego.
What do you think? Is the ego, the self, an illusion? Is it the source of suffering?